Faux Bun, Faux Pas (and rude bitches)

We took the kids to the beach this weekend, which was fun, except for when the babies didn't sleep, S-phie got gum stuck to the hotel bedspread, and when S-phie woke up this morning with a fever and vomiting. But anyway, what I really want to talk about is the rude bitches I met there. And about my fat ass. Or, more precisely, my fat belly. Let me just say that I was feeling pretty proud of myself on Friday because I've lost 12 painstaking pounds since March. It's been awful. Okay, so I've lost the 12, need to lose as much again. Cut to the chase: arrive on Friday and the innkeeper remarks that I have three kids and, "I see you have another one on the way." I tell her no, I don't, and she is completley unfazed. Personally, I would die of embarassment if I made that mistake. Maybe she figured I was the one who needs to be embarassed, what with my faux bun in the oven and all. Anyway, I didn't like it, but I took it in stride, telling myself that the empire-waist dress I was wearing just made it look that way. Then Saturday evening I'm in my swimsuit, and another guest starts talking to me about the kids and says, "And that's great you're expecting again." I wanted to tell her I was expecting to kick her rude ass. Instead, I just smiled and said, "No, I'm just FAT." She also did not seem to care about what I considered to be quite a blunder, and just kind of laughed it off and drove away in her ginormous (a S-phie word) SUV. I was not happy after the second comment. I told my mom about the whole debacle, to which she sympathetically(??) said, "but think about what you looked like when you were 9 months pregnant!!!" At present, I seriously cannot look more than 6 or 7 months pregnant, at worst; I look more or less like I looked when I was 4 months pg w/the twins - a definite bump, if I were a celebrity there would be speculation about my gestational status in People, but I personally wouldn't feel safe asking.

Maybe this is my bad karma again. The worst part is - well the worst part is that my babies are 13 months old and I look 6 months pregnant - but the other worst part, about the rude bitches, is that I just can't stand the thought of them re-telling the story, although they seem so unembarassed that perhaps they won't repeat it, but I can't stand them telling someone and then saying, "bless her heart," the way crazy Southern women do when they insult someone they feel sorry for. I wish I could just learn to embrace my faux bun and flaunt it proudly in a bikini, like lots of fatties I saw this weekend - more power to them, bless their hearts.