Inventory

Tomorrow is a very exciting day. We are getting a new refrigerator - a bigass, double-wide, fit-for-a-family-of-five behemoth. Be gone you tiny 19 cu feet p.o.s., with your measly storage capacity, defunct icemaker and missing veggie crisper drawer - be gone. Welcome, luxurious side-by-side, we eagerly await the Sears truck that will deliver you, and thereby deliver us, tomorrow. What is notable about emptying out my fridge in preparation for the big event is not the grime that was in the fridge or the stuff I found in there, it was what was on top of the fridge, to wit:

1. All of S-phie's artwork from school for the last several months
2. One tuition receipt for S-phie's daycare
3. One blue enamaled cast iron la creuset trivet (wedding present???) (a.k.a. massive head wound/broken toe/child neglect waiting to happen)
4. One yellow child's umbrella
5. One size 4 Huggie's overnight diaper (unused!)
6. One non-stick cookie sheet
7. One metal dish-drying rack
8. One dry erase eraser
9. One jump rope
10. One cardboard tab from the opening to a box of garbage bags
11. One small bubble wand
12. One off-white fleece glove w/spaklies and fuzzy around the wrist
13. Two lunchboxes and one thermal bottle carrier
14. One empty jewelry box
15. One empty plastic picture frame
16. Two half-full boxes of large bibsters
17. One stiff fabric insert that goes in the bottom of a storage bin
18. One carbon monoxide detector

Impressive, if I do say so myself. Just think how much shit we can fit on top of the new fridge . . .